Some people just can’t stand to eat off the same plates as a skunk.
Frankly, I don’t see the problem. It’s not like the plate remains unwashed.
"Really, are they are going through the wash next?" asks Sagie who is washing dishes for Mama.
Unless the skunkie fools you into thinking it is washed. They will lick a plate for ten minutes and it will shine when it has not been into a sudsy dishwater bath. But we skunk people know that and we wash everything.
My family though, my dad namely, has issue. And I can see the point. But these are not dogs or cats doing what dogs are cats do. They are tidy, polite little domestic skunkies.
One Thanksgiving we had everyone to the cabin. One of the last years we were all together, we meaning all of us in the family and both my pet skunks, Jeronimo and Sequoia.
After dinner, I made a feast plate for my skunkies. Brought them out to the kitchen to eat their dinner where everyone could enjoy how cute and sweet and cuddley. Skunk people are like new parents, they never get over the pride and bragging.
Sequoia and Jeronimo usually ate off stompable, unbreakable plastic plates. But all skunk holiday feasts are served on white antique stoneware china from England. Remember the lead in antique china is real, so don’t do this often. But we humans had antique china, so did they, the skunkies. Dining with all but the candles that might set ablaze their little tail feathers.
The next holiday my sister admitted how cute they were. But Dad had a problem. She politely, diplomatically asked if I have plates for the people from which the skunks did not eat.
Since those are their special plates and I have modern day white stoneware for everyone else, rest assured, Dad did not eat from a skunk plate.
But really, only skunk people know. These are special creatures. Intelligent. Resourceful with their surroundings…..
Skunks wipe like people. Skunks do not lick their hineys. They might scoot on the nearest rug to wipe…. but they do not lick. So the plan is to place right by the litter pan the washable rug you want them to use for wiping. But no, skunks do not lick. They wipe and everyday they brush themselves and brush their teeth too. They sit on their fat flat haunches and groom their hiney fluff with their little hands. So cute.
"Can I have your bean?" "No."
Skunks do not eat gucky stuff. Unless of course, we are feeding them crickets and grubs. That more real version of skunk dining is not happening in my house, I kiss my skunks. They must be content with steak and chicken, shrimp and salmon. Proteins that I, too, am willing to eat.
Thanksgiving dinner, skunks eat turkey (no ham or pork, please) and stuffing and yams without sugar. They eat corn on the cob, French bean casserole, cranberry sauce and pumpkin pie. They should never eat too much sugar at once but they will eat all you give to them.
Want the Thanksgiving dishes from prep-cooking to be pre-washed before they hit the dishwasher or after they are inside said dishwasher? Skunks can handle it. Just don’t put in knives or fork tines facing up.
Turn a flock of skunks loose on a huge bowl where pumpkin pie filling was mixed, fifteen minutes of licking and it is good to go.
Yes, you will want to consider sugar, salt and seasoning intake. No raisin cookies or mock mince meat, since the raisins in those cause renal failure in animals. No asparagus which causes grand mal seizures.
But these domestic skunks, they are thorough if nothing else.
Skunkie moral of the story: I’ve got nothing. Except you want a dish washed right, give it to a skunk.
Thirty skunks stories about the boys.
In the morning, when her door is opened, our skunk Blossom comes out of her den carrier like a race horse from the starting gate. Where is breakfast, let’s get this show on the road.
If it hadn’t been for the snow thing going on outside, I wouldn’t have second-guessed my instincts. Lacey was packing a king-size velour blanket under the entertainment center, through a four-inch opening. Things were different today.
The drive home was on the other scale of speed. Our Denali gingerly paced between rushing semis. Cruising black ice at twenty miles per hour for forty-five miles. No, even a Yukon Denali does not feel big enough under these conditions. For instance, driving between the Christmas tree farm to our road usually takes three minutes and we drove fourteen minutes – which seemed hours to the turn-off. Plenty of time to fuss over Blossom though. I would have to say, if she ever decides not to come out because it is snowing, she would have good reason after that drive.
Supplements for calcium – We used a liquid angstrom supplement for bones. This is highly bioavailable. The powdered calcium is not bioavailable and in my opinion, will cause arthritis as it lodges calcium desposits in the joints and along the spine. We know, we actually had two skunks with solidified spines from the powdered calcium. At the very least use a liquid colloidal minerals that is specific for bones. NEW PRODUCT FOR THEM — The one we have been using for five months now is Neways Maximol Solutions which is full of 
The time is now eight-two minutes since I emerged from my bedroom, wearing too little clothes to stay warm. So far I fed two ungrateful pet skunks – twice, sort of fed one cranky, finicky, decrepit old cat, and missed the boat when caring for my beloved lame, geriatric Newfoundland dog. Oh… and I dressed – twice.
Snuggies the cat rolled his eyes. He’s twenty-four, what did these two itty-bits know of time.
The dog has stopped barking at snowplow guy. I go out to admire plow guy’s handiwork. Help my lame old dog to stand by using a towel for a lift. I smell it. I smell it, I smell it. Poor old guy was barking to go out more than at plow guy’s truck. Poor dog pooped in his bed. Washed his hiney, my hands, took the bedding out to freeze since my laundry will go in first. And find cat upchuck on the bottom of the laundry pile I had dropped onto the kitchen floor.
